and now...

If you have followed along with us even for a minute in the past two years, you have an inkling of the journey we have been on. I have to say, you deserve our gratitude for keeping up with us and the roller coaster it's been. 

In a month and two days, I will join Raul in Oregon, and we will start this next phase of our life together. "Wait...what? Weren't you moving to California or something like that?" I've heard this question more than once, and it hasn't been the most pleasant thing in the world to admit that it just wasn't the right fit for us (especially considering that before that, we had discussed moving to Florida as well). We were open (sometimes too much) about our uncertainty of where we were supposed to go from Indiana, and it stung when things did not pan out and we just felt confused. 

This time feels like it did a year and a half ago when we moved up here to Fort Wayne from my hometown. It was a move on faith, but at the same time we knew that it was the right move at the right time. This time feels no different. Except... everything's different. You see, Indiana is the only place, aside from a short time in Ohio, that I have ever lived in the United States. I'm a Midwestern girl, Hoosier native with Buckeye tendencies, and I'm proud of that. Yes, I've lived abroad, I teach international students and I'm surrounded by things that bring me out of my comfort zone on a daily basis, but this....moving across the country? This is scarier than my move to China 12 years ago. Don't ask me how that works. I could explain it, but most of it would be incoherent nonsense that would reveal my anxiety and probably cause you to think I was nuts. But trust me...it's real.

Prayers are appreciated. Aside from packing up the apartment and moving it across the country and, you know, finding a job for me, this is a done deal. But that part of me that is sad to leave what is my Midwestern home and a big part of who I am...I have a ways to go. I'm a sentimental person who loves to relive memories. I'm very nostalgic. And though I've done fairly well with this being my last full week of work in this amazing job, the other realities are setting in. Leaving what has been my home church for 20 years. Not being geographically close to my family. Being a far-away friend who is fearful of not being able to stay in touch with dear people. Then there's adjusting to a new place at almost-35. Making new friends and trying to find a new church at almost-35. I praise Him that I've watched other friends (via FB) go through similar situations, and the Lord has used their musings on FB to prepare my own heart for this. 

Am I nervous? Yes, but I'm also excited for a new opportunity. If it's possible to feel both crazy extremes at the same time, that's me. 

Thanks for putting up with me.

Love you all.