going back to high school

If you don't count two years ago when I was technically a substitute teacher but worked full time, and the semester I worked as a sub after I graduated from IWU and before I moved to Nanjing, I just completed my first year of substitute teaching. Needless to say, any job in public education opens your eyes to so many things, and I learned a lot this year. And despite that, I plan to do it next year, too :) Call me crazy.

Being a substitute teacher at my old high school has brought back a lot of memories of my own high school days there, and most of them I don't care to relive. But I couldn't help but think of them often, sometimes everyday when I would work at the high school. And I wish I could take so much of it back. You couldn't pay me to go back to high school, but I can't help but feel like I'm living with so much regret that overhwelms me at times. So, there are moments I catch myself having conversations with some of the high school students, putting myself in their place, and wanting to do it all over again with all the wisdom I have now.

I may be rambling, but here's what I see. We can't change the past. It is what it is. ("Duh, Catie.") And you can't go back to all those people you said stupid things to or did stupid things to. (Again, duh.)  And I need to remember that everytime I feel down on myself. There really is no point in tearing myself up about it, either. If only I could remember that.