more thoughts during Lent

This was supposed to be a break from work, but it hasn't been much of that. Other than trying to get more sleep (more on that in a second) and tackling the new Karen Kingsbury book today (love it!), it hasn't been much of a break. I've been sick pretty much the whole week and developed a nasty cough 2 days ago that didn't allow me (or Raul...poor guy) much sleep on Tuesday night. Yesterday was even worse, and today my chest and my back have been killing me, probably from all the coughing and hacking yesterday. Lovely.

In addition to that, my journey to grad school got turned on its head when I realized I had missed by almost 2 months the deadline to apply to the school I was kind of set on. But, it's all good because now I'm pursuing a school I actually started looking a few years ago when we were still in Nanjing. I'm pretty excited about it. Not excited about the tuition cost or any more debt, but I really feel that going on in my education is where God wants me to be, to achieve His purposes for me in the field of ESL. I'm just going to trust Him for provision and direction. It's a rough road, especially as I stare at more and more debt and wishing we could be in a "stable" situation (whatever that means).

Then I'm reminded that I should not complain. Forgive me, Lord. With all that's going on in the world, I have no place to complain. What a reminder that's been for me this season of Lent.

This past Sunday, Raul and I went back to a church that was my home church for many years, got me through my teens and college years and has such a special place in my heart. And we may be going back more often...but that's a whole other story. In any case, the pastor, one I could never tire of hearing preach, gave a message on the transfiguration. The church recently finished their "mountain top" moment while going through a book written by 2 of the pastors, and, from I gather, it had a profound effect on many in the congregation. And though I didn't read the book, I was more than open to what the pastor shared about the disciples journey up to the mountain top, the Jesus they encountered at the top of the mountain, and what they went through when they came back down. What struck me was the little faith of the disciples, unable to cast out a demon...after they had just seen Jesus in all His amazing glory and knew what it meant. Instead, the father of the boy came to Jesus and asked if He could do what the disciples could not.
Here's what I got from all that, and these are the pastor's thoughts, not mine...
- this is a parable of our day. Many people want to see Jesus, and they get us instead. We are a people of controvery, unable to reach the potential He allows for us. Jesus said it's because we don't have faith.
- Little faith is when you see the power of evil more than the power of God.

That really hit home for me. With all that's going on in the world, I pray I will be able to see the power of God instead of the work of the evil one and how he is working to create chaos, division, and confusion. Let it be so, Lord.