by His grace

Grace is one of those words that I've always loved, but to be honest...I never really felt I understood the extent of it until the past week. Day after day, He reminds me that it's only by His grace that I'm here. Without Him, I would've collapsed on the floor, weak, poor, tired, and utterly at a loss for words. The situation really seemed utterly devastating. Though it wasn't anywhere near that extreme, after 2 months of being in the US living by His grace, I felt it slip away. Maybe my theology is wrong here, but I felt that He was taking away just a bit to see how I would do. Well, I crashed and burned. I had several bursts of tears, some longer than others, many teary-eyed moments, and lots of hugs of support from my husband and family. I really struggled to figure out where He was. I knew He was there, I knew it in my heart, but it felt so good to just let out my frustration, my questions, and just...cry.
His grace is always there. Today as I talked with a very sweet teacher, who really, genuinely wanted to know how I was doing, it hit me what has gotten me through everything...she was asking about my days in the Life Skills class...and inside, I was thinking about everything bad that has frustrated me lately. His grace is sufficient for me. It's the only thing that will get me through the tough times, the reverse culture shock, the loss I sometimes feel when I miss people in NJ, and many other things I may face. But I have to remember that in addition to His grace, I'm not alone. I have a wonderful husband who supports me in everything I do, a family that loves me and has never given up on me, and friends who also love and care about me (though some may be very far away). I am blessed.

Father, thank You for Your endless love and grace that abounds.